IT'S NOT WORKING...

Have you ever tried putting in extra effort so that someone else's life will be slightly eased, happier or even change the situation positively? For me, I have been there, done that. But sadly speaking, the situation for didn't seems to be getting any better. Despite me trying so hard to mend the situation, it just seems as though I didn't put in any effort at all. Even after being so independent (hoping that I will not be a burden), nothing changed. So right now, what's the point of my putting in effort? Since there is no difference.

Someone told me that I am responsible for myself, not others. But the fact is, I also have to be responsible for my siblings too, no? I don't want them to go through the full extend of what I have gone through and I really hope they will also not worry about simple things which they shouldn't be worrying about. But sadly speaking, I think I have failed to achieve this mission. Sigh, I have so many things on my mind right now. Its really sucks when there is only so much I can do. And sometimes, it will left me in deep thoughts and mixed feelings. Honestly, I hate to feel upset because it takes awhile for me to be happy again.

If only my father had the same trend of thoughts as me. Like this, I don't have to worry for him. I honestly thinks he should stop keeping things from me. Because the more truth I uncover myself, the more disappointed I get with him and my mother. Honestly hate the "this is for your own good" kind of sentence. Bull shitting is the new trend huh?

And sadly speaking, I am losing my faith, little by little, day by day. It's so hard to think positive sometimes- all the "God's plan is to prosper you" verse in the Bible just seems quite unbelievable sometimes. Out of all the common test, exams and UTs that I have taken- I have never give up before. But for this test of faith, I think I am going to get a "F" grade soon. Only a matter of time, I guess.

Of all the things that could have happen, I happen to feel sad during my exam period. Good thing tomorrow's UT is in the afternoon. Hopefully, I will feel better by then and be in the mood...

SO WHAT IF I CANNOT GIVE UP?

SUCCESS.

Being able to celebrate your birthday with friends is really a blessed thing. And yes, I celebrate one of my classmate's birthday again! But I am really glad we all manage to surprise her- and she even cried. At least the objective of OPERATION "J" were met. I did her a video and a decorated chip-broad with polaroids! I have to say, it wasn't very easy to stay up late rushing the video and decorating the chip board, nonetheless, guessed it is still worth-it. 

Through this, I got to know Tricia & YH a little better because they also contributed by baking cup-cakes! I thought the cup-cakes are really nice despite them telling me not to expect too much. But anyways, because Terence and I don't know what to buy for her, we brought her a bra-top, shorts and a "dress" from Uniqlo. And it is damn embarrassing because we don't know the size for her bra-top- I even have to call Tricia and ask for help but all she did was to laugh! :(( Anyways, at least she likes the short.

A very Happy Birthday 18th Birthday again to my kuku-bird!

And a big thank you to all who have make this a success! :)

CHIP-BOARD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARDS FROM Y2S1 CLASS

Anyways, my school also had our first SOH Day- which is to recognize the individuals whom have work hard and excelled in their studies. And guess what? I am one of the award recipient! I manage to clinch the Merit Award for my Diploma- Integrated Events Management. And of course, I should be proud to be able to receive this award right?

Then again, I wasn't really happy. I came to realize many things...

One of it is myself- I am very skinny can?! I honestly regretted not joining a sport CCA, probably I would have been fitter. More importantly, I have the time to exercise! Looking at myself now, I cannot even sustain running for half an hour and this is really demoralizing especially when I am from Floorball during my secondary school days. Because of the fact that I am skinny, I cannot wear the blazer!! This alone have brought me, not being happy, to a whole new level. I am damn Damn DAMN upset about it..

Another thing was GEnRe- it is starting to become a drag. I hate to "clean up the shit" that someone else leaves behind. Because of your irresponsibility, people around you suffer. More importantly, to have realized that we cannot perform for Reflections 2012 is an added turn-off, probably to everyone. On top of that, I seriously disagreed with Alex when he said that branding does not matter so long you are able to perform. Doesn't branding matter when you are able to perform for Reflections as compared to performing in the National Library?! This makes a hell lot of difference. Sigh, I am always in different frequency with the people in this IG. So now, I shall fulfill my call-of-duty and then leave for good. End of story, full stop.

DIEM

MY CERTIFICATE!

MR RUSSEL!

THANKS GIRLS!
CLARISSA. SERENE. KAREN.

MY GUMMY OF COURAGE.

I received a card form this person and I was quite touched...

"Congratulations Edward! You deserve the award that you will be receiving later! I am really happy and proud of you. No matter how bumpy the road ahead may seem, continue working hard! Here are some gummies for you! Hope you will not feel nervous after consuming these gummies! Loves~"

Thanks to this special person in my life! <3

Honestly, felt a little envious to see so many parents there taking photos, smiling and proud of their children receiving this award. I am also very sure my parents are proud of me, at least that's what I told myself. I hope at least I can set a good example for my brother and sister to follow- probably this award can be for them? Really hope they will be able to excel in their own education too.

One of my facilitators told me that a failure is going to be nothing if you are going to compare it against your life. I really thought it was quite true- just because something is not going as well as it should be, doesn't mean you give up. Let's all work hard together! :)

WHERE I STAND.

Are we always in control of how things happen? Sadly, in reality I don't this is the case. We all depend on each other to live don't we? For example- I depend on the train to come to school; so if it breaks down, I am late. Am I in control? Not at all also what?! Often a times, although we are not in control, so does that mean we give up? Anyways I was reflecting on my days volunteering in MKFC- I really learnt a lot there. Seeing how others are struggling so much, I ought to thank God for what I have now. It may not be the best, but at least I am a lot more fortunate then they are. There is a lot of different ways to view things- more importantly, I think we always have to pick ourselves up when we fall down. In the process, we learnt and correct the mistake. "Everyone is stronger than they think they are, believe than you believed and definitely smarter than you think you are"- so I shall try my best to be positive!

Anyways, recently, I was "promoted" to the President of GEnRe. I wouldn't call it as a promotion- simply because there was a need for me to "be pushed up". Hidayat, my former president left the club because he needed to focus on his studies. I don't fault him much because I believed he must have thought through this before telling us. With that aside, I wonder how did others feel about this. I wanted to ask but, I am not sure how to bring it up. Then again, I know my position too- sometimes, things are better left unknown. Probably, knowing it would burden me even further...

Anyways, here are some pictures for Sharon's 24th birthday!

POLARIODs!!

IRENE. ME. WENDY.

SHU HENG. ME.

ME & IRENE <3 (DRUNK)

ME. IRENE. WENDY. XING MING. JAMES.

I only drank probably 2 cups worth of Vodka- and I think I dizzy already. Good thing I knew my limits- still, I gentleman, help Irene drink a lot. Thank God got mixer- if not I think I will be very drunk. I hope Sharon did enjoy herself that day. I really hope to be able to manage this IG well- to be able to be a good acting President is no lip-talking. Hopefully, I get all the support I can get.

Anyways, another semester is going to end soon. I need all the "A" grade I can get- my UT1 and UT2 didn't came out as well as expected. Slightly stress because I am not sure if I am giving my 101%- and my GPA needs to maintain if I really want to go to local university. Sigh, really hope my GPA wouldn't drop too bad man, since my programme-chair said it is suppose to get better. On the bright note, I am so looking forward to holidays! Let's work hard together everyone! No matter where you stand now- "If plan A fails, do not worry! Because there is 25 more alphabets! Don't give up!" :)

GEEKY~

I miss my old hair-style. Feel so less confident with the current short hair.

Probably because it's too short?

Hope it grows faster.

Till then~

"If life give you reason to cry, show life that a thousand reasons to smile" :)