Balance it out.

My insecurities is acting up again. Always feeling scare that I will end up losing someone I cherish. I have lost too many to continue losing, I know how it hurts to be abandon, alone and therefore I try my best to not let others feel that feeling from me.

You know, during bible study this week, someone asked this question, why is it so easy to forgive and so hard to forget? Honestly, I felt convicted. Did I really forgave the person? Or rather, can I forget those actions that have hurt me? And the answer given was in the book of 1 John; where it talks about love. To me, love is a feeling that can bring you down to the deep pit or lift you up sky high, a feeling that no one can teach you. If I really loved, I guess nothing is difficult, is it? Oh well, during bible study, Uncle Randy also talked about end times, that really shook me. How am I suppose to bear the pain to see friends I know suffering in hell? Not to mention my family members and relatives. Although I am not in good terms with everyone, it already hurts to imagine. I don't think I am doing my part as a Christian. Sad...(spiritually-super-dry).

Anyway, enough about sad things. I shall balanced this sadness with happy moments? I went out with some of my GenRE friends! We went to catch this movie 'IN TIME'. It is a great movie indeed. While time, really passes when you are enjoying, right? For me, it is time to actually decide on who to be the next President for the club; something I have yet to think about. Anyways, whoever that is the President, I will definitely support him or her, because we all have a passion in common, guitar! :)

Hidayat. KianFong. Erick. Nisa. Ashly.
XingMing. Rudy. Irene.

Me. KianFong. Erick. Ashly.
XingMing. Rudy. Irene.

Wow?! This post quite long arh? My Y1S2 classmates is really fun! We haven really bond but I feel this sense of belonging. I hope I am not the only one feeling this? Oh well, this Semester really thought me to not judge. Many people can be 'this or that' because they have gone through something hard, not everyone have a easy life up to poly right? We all have problems and stress. But guess what? We are always not alone! There is always friends to go through what you go through, sharing the pain and joys. Other than the fact we have to part ways some day, I guess friendship is something we all need.

Gregory. Haz. Aisah. Freda. Vaheeni.
Michelle. Isabelle. WeiLing. (alot people missing)

As much as I have loss, I have gain a lot too. Although it may not be the best, the most loving, the smartest, the richest, the funniest....anything; but I guess that's what friends are for, to help one another to cover up weaknesses and grow together. Anyway, thanks Isabelle, Jaslyn for always encouraging me.

Although I cannot change anything of the past, must I let the future me suffer? I want to piece my life to what it should be again, to enjoy life to the fullest. It still hurts, I am still scare, but, I feel better now knowing everyone have their fair share of ups and downs.