16 NOV 2012

16 November was a really important day for me. This is because I am going to receive an award which I really wanted since I join GEnRe- this award was also my motivation on why I persevere so long in GEnRe and also work so hard academically. At first, I was told that I didn't meet one of the requirements to get the award- which is a GPA of 3.5. I was really sad because my current GPA is 3.47- which is quite unacceptable. I even complained to Irene about how depressed I was upon hearing that I didn't meet the requirements. But then, my IG adviser nominated me up- I was flying! Damn happy.

So...what really happened on the 16 November 2012?

I went to school happily with my club t-shirt and my attire for Flames Award, which is the name of the event. I brought breakfast from E-canteen and drank some milk. Later on, I feel damn uncomfortable i my stomach- so I thought its because I had a heavy breakfast and so, I only ate honeydew for lunch. And after lunch, hell came in. I cannot concentrate in class, cannot sit still and I had sudden fever. There was also this sudden bloated-ness in my stomach. Ariel brought some panadol for me but I didn't consume them- too stubborn. Then I tired to vomit things out at first but fail. Awhile later, I tried again. Everything came out. 

This is the first time I vomited so violently. It's as though my body is rejected all the food I eat. It feels as though my body even wanted to vomit out my stomach- whole body was just numb for the feel seconds. It felt terrible because I was feeling so restless and weak. And on top of that, I didn't want to go home just yet. But I really thank God for understand teacher and team-mates.

Having mention all this, you should have guessed that I am in no good condition to attend the award ceremony. And so, I skipped it in order to go home. I was really down! Because I have been waiting for this special day. Depressed beyond words. On top of that, I was suppose to perform also- so I SMS my seniors and told them about it. I guess they are really disappointed. What really sucks was when my IG adviser didn't even reply my SMS and email- guessed she was also disappointed for my sudden absence. I think I let some of my members down also- we had a colour code black and wanted to take a "family photo" on this day, but I went missing in action. Quite screwed up right?

Anyways, I left school via cab with Terence. Good thing I waited for him- because the taxi ride was so long! And I really "buay tong" already- was just half-awake through the ride. Even if the taxi uncle scam me I also don't know. I forget why I said sorry to him on the cab but really thank God for this brother, at least for tolerating my bad mood. Anyways, I think my body reacts to circumstance really fast, told Terence I will be fine taking the lift up myself. So I get him to leave. Took the lift up and before I knew it, I vomit again outside my house. This time, it's brown liquid. I assume its the acid from my stomach. It's probably one of the worse days being alive till now.

And so, I cleared up the mess I made and bathed, then slept.

I was just kind of reflecting how my Mum would take care of me when I am sick.

And also reflecting on how I told myself to be strong and independent.

A brave front yet a weak heart.

That's life huh?
Enjoy this song by Mark Chao, the lyrics not bad.
The music at first by plucking the guitar is also very nice.

Just asking for a momentary splendor.