FRIENDS.

I finally finished my last paper of this semester! All the anxiety and torturous nights of revisions are finally coming to an end because here comes my September holidays! Looking at my schedule, I will be really busy as usual- so packed. But I hope in this short break, I will be able spend a little more time on myself. So I will really be looking forward to the BKK trip with my poly cliques- besides, its my first time travelling abroad without my parents. Anyways, would really like to thank my wonderful classmates that made this semester fun and nothing else but fun! Hope to keep in touch! :)

THANKS MR RUSSELS FOR THE TREAT IN SWENSENS! <3
#Y2S1

Today, despite having my last paper in school, I didn't miss the opportunity to visit my beloved teachers! I woke up really early in the morning to find out that it's raining. This made me rather reluctant to step out of the house, but nonetheless, I managed to flag a cab. I visited BMSS first- there were really lots of flash-back of my secondary school days be it good or bad. The first place I head for was D&T room! So glad to see Uncle Tan and Mr Foo still there, the same as ever. This Yi Hui & Sheril still can do key chains for themselves- so I did a bit of gbuffing, filing and cutting of acrylics. Those were really the days. And so, after that, I headed to the staff room with Jiamin but no teachers were there. And then I saw my Chinese teacher, Mdm Chen Jing. She is still the same as ever, comparing my siblings with me. But glad to have seen her, although she forget my name.

UNCLE TAN!

ME. UNCLE TAN. YIHUI.

HONGJIE. ME. EDNA. JIAMIN.
SHERIL. YIHUI.

We headed to the AVA room to find the rest of the teachers. And yes, I found Ms Nora and some of my classmates. Ms Nora is still as funny as ever- still can ask me if I have girlfriend. We catch-up a little here and there together with Wei Kiat, Tong Sheng and Hong Jie. To my surprise, the topic was on girlfriends. Things never change when Wei Kiat is around- the sex-pert! And after that, we went for lunch in AJISEN and that's how it was.

GROUP PHOTO!

MS NORA. JIAMIN..

LUNCHED AT AJISAN.
"YOU DON'T SAY?!"

So, I traveled to RMPS with Yi Hui with two flowers! One for Mr Yeong and the other for Miss Govi. Well, saw many familiar faces like all the kids that I came to MKFC, my sister's friends, Eleazar's cliques, Timothy, Wei Cong and so many more. I certainly felt a sense of belonging to be in RMPS. Anyways, we only saw Mr Yeong because Miss Govi was sick! Quite disappointed. But, glad to know that both of them are doing well! And so, we took quite alot of pictures in this Tamil classroom with Lydia, Su Yi, Zhong Ren and Yi Hui- I have no idea why we choose to be there.

YIHUI WITH THE FLOWERS FOR MS GOVI~

ME. MR YEONG. YIHUI. ZHONG REN.

WHATEVER IS IN THE TAMIL ROOM...

STAFF-ROOM
JEREMY. SUYI. YIHUI. LYDIA. MR YEONG.

And then, because I left because I had exams. So I met up with Terence and headed to school. A bit turn off, but I had no choice too. But the paper was really easy! Haha, don;t know if it is a good or bad thing.

Then after the paper was suppose to head to Safra to meet up with my primary school clique- but in the end, we headed to town for dinner instead. And so I travel down to town with dear Terence again. Talked a lot more than usual- this brother of mine always surprises my with those words that comes out of his mouth. But I know he also went through quite a fair bit in life and he bury it somewhere deep inside his heart.

Anyways, then headed to SCAPE for buffet dinner but we ended up in Javier's instead for XYZ reasons. And after that, we headed to Starbucks to chill, play games and talk crap just like those primary school days. Mr Yeong is as funny as ever, he can literally make joke out of like anything and everything. And despite our efforts in not trying to let him paid, he still did. A teacher is always a teacher- we will always be like students in his eyes.

Really hope this friendship will keep on going just like what was proposed - a 10 years anniversary for us. Like what Mr Yeong said, this bond is not easy to come by, so we have to cherish it. And like I always say, little efforts goes a long way. Anyways, wishing all the teachers a very HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!

TO MY PRIMARY SCHOOL CLIQUE! <3

 Anyways, I forget to blog about this because I was too busy. Before my exams, Esther (my childhood friend) organised a potluck party for us to catch up at Annicia's house. I am suppose to baked cheesecake, while Esther whip up her chocolate fried rice and Annicia provide some drinks and snacks. The two boys, just come and eat. Although Esther didn't cook her chocolate fried rice, I thank God she baked pizza. I think she got the potential to open up and shop with more practice. And of course, I did my first ever cheesecake alone! Although, it wasn't as nice is it should be. I had two blisters on both my thumb after baking it because of the digestive biscuit. Anyways, I am damn proud of myself because my family like it alot! :)

CHEESECAKE!

MY ONE WHOLE AFTERNOON OF HARD-WORK!

COCK-TAIL FOR THE BOYS!

NATA-DE-COCO PLUS COCK-TAIL = SHIOKNESS!

THE VODKA~

I really had fun that night. And I was pretty sure we were all drunk! I drink one shot, whole body red already..and not to mention me losing the game that we played so many times. After that, we watch horror movie. Can you imagine us watching horror movie but laughing at the ghost in the state of being drunk? And this Esther even poured water on my while I was sleeping and I even tried to take off my top. See how drunk I was? This is another set of friends that I do not want to lose.

Sometimes, I really need to think. There is really more to the word life- not just money can buy. Yes, I may not have the best of everything, but I can make the best out of everything I have. I have been really down for this whole week but now as I am blogging, I felt a lot better because I was reminded that I have pull through so many trials and I am still too early to give up. Well, mentally does matter whether you can overcome the problem or not. I have overlooked many things, but now, I'm not anymore.

A song by Font Minor- Remember The Name

10% luck

20% skill

15% concentrated power of will

5% pleasure

50% pain..

So what's my 100% altogether?

I'm definitely more capable than this!

Till then! :)

IT'S NOT WORKING...

Have you ever tried putting in extra effort so that someone else's life will be slightly eased, happier or even change the situation positively? For me, I have been there, done that. But sadly speaking, the situation for didn't seems to be getting any better. Despite me trying so hard to mend the situation, it just seems as though I didn't put in any effort at all. Even after being so independent (hoping that I will not be a burden), nothing changed. So right now, what's the point of my putting in effort? Since there is no difference.

Someone told me that I am responsible for myself, not others. But the fact is, I also have to be responsible for my siblings too, no? I don't want them to go through the full extend of what I have gone through and I really hope they will also not worry about simple things which they shouldn't be worrying about. But sadly speaking, I think I have failed to achieve this mission. Sigh, I have so many things on my mind right now. Its really sucks when there is only so much I can do. And sometimes, it will left me in deep thoughts and mixed feelings. Honestly, I hate to feel upset because it takes awhile for me to be happy again.

If only my father had the same trend of thoughts as me. Like this, I don't have to worry for him. I honestly thinks he should stop keeping things from me. Because the more truth I uncover myself, the more disappointed I get with him and my mother. Honestly hate the "this is for your own good" kind of sentence. Bull shitting is the new trend huh?

And sadly speaking, I am losing my faith, little by little, day by day. It's so hard to think positive sometimes- all the "God's plan is to prosper you" verse in the Bible just seems quite unbelievable sometimes. Out of all the common test, exams and UTs that I have taken- I have never give up before. But for this test of faith, I think I am going to get a "F" grade soon. Only a matter of time, I guess.

Of all the things that could have happen, I happen to feel sad during my exam period. Good thing tomorrow's UT is in the afternoon. Hopefully, I will feel better by then and be in the mood...

SO WHAT IF I CANNOT GIVE UP?

SUCCESS.

Being able to celebrate your birthday with friends is really a blessed thing. And yes, I celebrate one of my classmate's birthday again! But I am really glad we all manage to surprise her- and she even cried. At least the objective of OPERATION "J" were met. I did her a video and a decorated chip-broad with polaroids! I have to say, it wasn't very easy to stay up late rushing the video and decorating the chip board, nonetheless, guessed it is still worth-it. 

Through this, I got to know Tricia & YH a little better because they also contributed by baking cup-cakes! I thought the cup-cakes are really nice despite them telling me not to expect too much. But anyways, because Terence and I don't know what to buy for her, we brought her a bra-top, shorts and a "dress" from Uniqlo. And it is damn embarrassing because we don't know the size for her bra-top- I even have to call Tricia and ask for help but all she did was to laugh! :(( Anyways, at least she likes the short.

A very Happy Birthday 18th Birthday again to my kuku-bird!

And a big thank you to all who have make this a success! :)

CHIP-BOARD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARDS FROM Y2S1 CLASS

Anyways, my school also had our first SOH Day- which is to recognize the individuals whom have work hard and excelled in their studies. And guess what? I am one of the award recipient! I manage to clinch the Merit Award for my Diploma- Integrated Events Management. And of course, I should be proud to be able to receive this award right?

Then again, I wasn't really happy. I came to realize many things...

One of it is myself- I am very skinny can?! I honestly regretted not joining a sport CCA, probably I would have been fitter. More importantly, I have the time to exercise! Looking at myself now, I cannot even sustain running for half an hour and this is really demoralizing especially when I am from Floorball during my secondary school days. Because of the fact that I am skinny, I cannot wear the blazer!! This alone have brought me, not being happy, to a whole new level. I am damn Damn DAMN upset about it..

Another thing was GEnRe- it is starting to become a drag. I hate to "clean up the shit" that someone else leaves behind. Because of your irresponsibility, people around you suffer. More importantly, to have realized that we cannot perform for Reflections 2012 is an added turn-off, probably to everyone. On top of that, I seriously disagreed with Alex when he said that branding does not matter so long you are able to perform. Doesn't branding matter when you are able to perform for Reflections as compared to performing in the National Library?! This makes a hell lot of difference. Sigh, I am always in different frequency with the people in this IG. So now, I shall fulfill my call-of-duty and then leave for good. End of story, full stop.

DIEM

MY CERTIFICATE!

MR RUSSEL!

THANKS GIRLS!
CLARISSA. SERENE. KAREN.

MY GUMMY OF COURAGE.

I received a card form this person and I was quite touched...

"Congratulations Edward! You deserve the award that you will be receiving later! I am really happy and proud of you. No matter how bumpy the road ahead may seem, continue working hard! Here are some gummies for you! Hope you will not feel nervous after consuming these gummies! Loves~"

Thanks to this special person in my life! <3

Honestly, felt a little envious to see so many parents there taking photos, smiling and proud of their children receiving this award. I am also very sure my parents are proud of me, at least that's what I told myself. I hope at least I can set a good example for my brother and sister to follow- probably this award can be for them? Really hope they will be able to excel in their own education too.

One of my facilitators told me that a failure is going to be nothing if you are going to compare it against your life. I really thought it was quite true- just because something is not going as well as it should be, doesn't mean you give up. Let's all work hard together! :)

WHERE I STAND.

Are we always in control of how things happen? Sadly, in reality I don't this is the case. We all depend on each other to live don't we? For example- I depend on the train to come to school; so if it breaks down, I am late. Am I in control? Not at all also what?! Often a times, although we are not in control, so does that mean we give up? Anyways I was reflecting on my days volunteering in MKFC- I really learnt a lot there. Seeing how others are struggling so much, I ought to thank God for what I have now. It may not be the best, but at least I am a lot more fortunate then they are. There is a lot of different ways to view things- more importantly, I think we always have to pick ourselves up when we fall down. In the process, we learnt and correct the mistake. "Everyone is stronger than they think they are, believe than you believed and definitely smarter than you think you are"- so I shall try my best to be positive!

Anyways, recently, I was "promoted" to the President of GEnRe. I wouldn't call it as a promotion- simply because there was a need for me to "be pushed up". Hidayat, my former president left the club because he needed to focus on his studies. I don't fault him much because I believed he must have thought through this before telling us. With that aside, I wonder how did others feel about this. I wanted to ask but, I am not sure how to bring it up. Then again, I know my position too- sometimes, things are better left unknown. Probably, knowing it would burden me even further...

Anyways, here are some pictures for Sharon's 24th birthday!

POLARIODs!!

IRENE. ME. WENDY.

SHU HENG. ME.

ME & IRENE <3 (DRUNK)

ME. IRENE. WENDY. XING MING. JAMES.

I only drank probably 2 cups worth of Vodka- and I think I dizzy already. Good thing I knew my limits- still, I gentleman, help Irene drink a lot. Thank God got mixer- if not I think I will be very drunk. I hope Sharon did enjoy herself that day. I really hope to be able to manage this IG well- to be able to be a good acting President is no lip-talking. Hopefully, I get all the support I can get.

Anyways, another semester is going to end soon. I need all the "A" grade I can get- my UT1 and UT2 didn't came out as well as expected. Slightly stress because I am not sure if I am giving my 101%- and my GPA needs to maintain if I really want to go to local university. Sigh, really hope my GPA wouldn't drop too bad man, since my programme-chair said it is suppose to get better. On the bright note, I am so looking forward to holidays! Let's work hard together everyone! No matter where you stand now- "If plan A fails, do not worry! Because there is 25 more alphabets! Don't give up!" :)

GEEKY~

I miss my old hair-style. Feel so less confident with the current short hair.

Probably because it's too short?

Hope it grows faster.

Till then~

"If life give you reason to cry, show life that a thousand reasons to smile" :)

MY HIDDEN CHAPTER

Recently, my friends in poly decided to go for a shopping spree at Bangkok. And somehow, my Dad suggested me to go and find my Mum since she’s there too, why not? I told my friends that my Mum might be able to help with the accommodations- and so I am left with the task.

FEAR?!

Leaving the task aside, in my heart, I was kind of excited because I may have the chance to be able to see her after so many years. Honestly, I really do miss her. Despite her leaving me since my primary school days, I could still vividly remember she facial features. Of course, I can still remember her disciplining me when I am naughty, guiding me by my homework every night, attending my meet-the-parents session, cooking food for me when I am hungry and many, many more things. I can also remember how I used to hate her salted vegetable soup; even up till now, I still have the fear of drinking it although it’s not her cooking. Those were really the days that I felt so much love, where I really think I am being cared for- having someone to keep telling you to do this and that is actually not that bad huh?

As a son, I really do hate her a little here and there for leaving me to face this world alone. “Fighting those battles” which I shouldn’t be facing right then and shouldering responsibilities shouldn’t be bore by me. Come to think of it, how did I even pull through these few years?! Anyways, I hated all those adults then, always thinking their action for us “is the best” and hence just do it without asking us; hence I always challenge them. From then on, my relationship with my Dad hasn’t been smooth- we always quarrel because of differing point of view. But who is to say “I got the correct solution to life?” I am doing it probably because I want the best for him too. Another hidden reason might be because I am afraid I will lose myself if I lose him. I have to admit, my dad might not be the best father, but I know he went through many thoughts too before making his choices too. But I really ought to thank my teacher for changing my perception to where I am now- working as hard as possible for myself too.

STRONG?!

I also did ask myself what I am working hard for last time. I still remember I was so happy to have passed my PSLE and am going to secondary school into express stream- but I couldn’t have anyone to share my joy with. My Dad was too busy with work, my siblings were too young, and my Mum is not there. Even for now, I clinched the Academics Award for my diploma, but none is coming to the ceremony. Sometimes, this is how lonely I feel. But I also thank God for all the good friends that He have surrounded me with- we fought together, study together, stand united together and also spent quality time with one another. If without for my school friends, I might probably also not be me too. They did helped shaped who I am, how I behave and how I would react. But, I was again left alone because of some issues during my secondary school. I apologized, but it didn’t worked out- so I slowly disappeared for the clique. But I don’t think I will forget the bookmark made by JiaMin- together forever never apart, maybe in distance by never at heart.

OUR FRIENDSHIP BANDS.

GEnRe's!

Ever since my parent divorced, I got a lot more independent and am more discipline to do things automatically. I have also picked up many things along the way, which includes cooking, washing clothes, taking care of my siblings and many more. That’s because I don’t want my siblings to feel the full extent of what I went through, although I know I didn’t do it very well…I might not express it, but they really mean a lot to me! It’s really ironic right- how I care for them so much but unwilling to express it.

Anyways, thanks to this trip, I kind of reflected on my life again. Although I still cannot get over some of the facts, life still goes on right? Not going to expect much difference, but I hope I get to see my Mum and catch with her a little. I am very sure I will still miss her once in a while, pray for her and holding back my tears when she calls- but it will not change the fact that I am your son and you are my mum, right? I hope you are doing fine…

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

  

Bon Voyage for this BKK trip! J

                

BLACK & WHITE

Finally found the time to update this blog a little. As usual, I am always busy writing the story of my life, trying to beautify it with memories and thinking of what I be doing next. Of course in the process, I realized, in anything that we do, there is bound to be challenges faced. Some give up, others hang on and the rest just live with it and not care. But life still goes on, right?

This really encouraged me a lot during my really down times. Come to think of it, I am able to stand where I am now because of the many "black keys" that created music. Of course, I learnt how to enjoy times when I go through the little "white keys" of my life and cherish those moments more! Because I know, it will not last.

I was finally able to try this again! Ain't the name & logo of this beancurd unique? It always spurs up some thoughts when I see old couples still being so romantic to each other. Just saying.

Anyways, for the main thing of this blog post- my polymates! Not long ago, we celebrated my old friend's birthday! His name is Terence. He was my primary school friend- I still remember us joining Track and Field together; going to his house to do homework together. Anyways, because we were in different secondary schools, we lost contact? But, surprisingly, he is in my class this semester! And coincidentally, he birthday was last week. Of course, as a class, we didn't miss the chance to "make his day".

Although, as a class we only knew one another for awhile, I must really say this birthday thing was quite fun. Of course, I must really thank Chia Meng- for passing me the birthday card to get SOH people to write on it. It is through that, that I wanted to do something big. Well, not forgetting Tracy who spent lots of effort making the video just for that moment worth 2 minutes. Of course, last but not least, all my classmates! They were the ones who brought it all together for him. 

HAPPY 18 TERENCE! :)

CAKE FROM P.OSH.
(THANKS TO CHERINE)

TERENCE & CHIA MENG

TERENCE & ME

ADELYN & TERENCE
(THANKS FOR THE DSLR ADELYN)

TERENCE & TRACY

MY CLASSMATES! <3

This Terence almost cry when we executed the plan- feel touched right? Anyways, I am really glad to "know" him again. It is really a joy to have him around.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY BROTHER! :)

To celebrate his big day, we when to buffet town and eat. 

I believe we all had the feeling that we cannot explain; perhaps a bond?
Till then!