2D1N WITH W24H.

Yesterday, I went for my Y1S1 class chalet. As usual, I always anticipate the fun that we will have when we come together despite the fact that I hardly get to meet up with them. This is the class' third chalet by far. And each time, we do different crazy things. Just imagine us having pillow and blanket fights during the night. Anyways, the short catch-up was a time well spent for me. It was really relaxing though- I talked to Dave for quite some time by the pool while the others bath and so on. And after we all bathed, like what most of chalet does, we all form a circle and share stories and stuffs like that. Although it was just 2D1N, really appreciate those who planned and also those who actually made the effort to come time after time for meet-ups.

KEYS

THE PLACE WE HAD OUR BED WAR.

LIVING ROOM.

PREPARING THE FOOD.

CHILLER.

SNACKS.

CREDIT TO DAVE FOR THIS METHOD OF ROASTING MARSHMALLOWS~

STINGRAYS. SNAPPLE FISH.

BBQ PIT.

GUO CONG PROMOTING THIS BBQ SAUCE :(

THE COLOR SO NICE RIGHT?
GUESS WHO COOKED?

MAHJONG.

BAILEYS!

WEN FUNG. ME. ARTHUR. GUO CONG. DAVE.

ME. WEN FUNG. ARTHUR. GUO CONG. DAVE. JOO HWEE. TESSA.
YI JIN.
MISSING: BIANCA. ZUHAIR. MUSTAFA. JEREEN. MICHELLE.

This night went past us pretty fast. I am sure we all had fun one way or another. 

Looking forward to the next time we hang out again! 

W24H <3

 And after that, despite my being so tired. I went to meet pastor for lunch for some chit-chat session so I left the chalet slightly earlier. I told him about how Terence and CM join my working and how they are coping with some of the irritating people at my workplace. Also about some of the frustrations of my life. I was glad he laughed all the way at how I managed to talk and elaborate so much about people who are just annoying and just wants to find fault with me. Felt quite good to be able to have someone with good listening ears and hear me out. Thanks Pastor! :)

After that, I headed home and sleep all the way. And later on, met up with Terence and CM for dinner I suppose and some shopping for the BKK trip. I guess I was too tired from the chalet, didn't really have the mood to shop nor entertain them. I think I am quite scary sometimes when I am angsty? Just got the feel from their expressions. Anyways, hope they don't mind because IT'S ONLY 1 MORE DAY TO OUR BKK TRIP! Really looking forward to it.

As planned, I am going to relax and enjoy myself!

No thinking of problems from IG, school, family, church.

Just going to enjoy myself with the people I hang out with! :)

Till then.

.____.

I came to realized how much it sucks to depend on someone and yet, that someone didn't meet your expectation or even go missing and leave me in state of lost and confusion. Sigh, I am blogging so that I vent my anger out because of some shit that happened today which made me really angsty.

I used to have a clique that I thought I was really close to. Since secondary 1, we have been hanging out together. Despite the ups and downs, we are still together till Secondary 4. All those times, I have been hanging out with them and really hold them close to my heart. And who knows, something happened and that was the end for me in that clique. I was really lost because all this years, I have only been with them. And when they are gone? I don't know what to do and even not know how I should spent my time. Gosh, the feeling was terrible.

But I was even more sad to know that the relationship we had for 4 years at least, was destroyed in one day. I also blamed myself. Who asked me to only hang out with them? I should have hang out with more people- probably that would have minimized my loss. Having said that, I think I am quite a self-fish person that cannot stand being lonely. Since I actually have the thought of replacing them with other people in hope to find the same bond..

Apparently, this is not what that made me angry today.

Just realized that I have diverted from it a lot.

But then again, I was really in state of lost when I lose them.

And I still cannot get over the fact.

Argh!!!

Anyways, I was angry with my father because he promised to buy dinner back home for me today. So happy boy me didn't go down for dinner. But who knew that he came back at 9 plus- I can be eating supper already. That's why I was so pissed off. On top of that, I only ate one meal today, ultra-hungry. Now that I think of it, guessed I had no rights to be angry. Who asked me to depend on him? If I wasn't that lazy to buy dinner myself, probably I wouldn't be angry. Childish me for being angry. TSK!

Then again maybe I just don't want to be eating dinner alone, so I waited. As much as I am independent, I still missed those secondary school days. On the other hand, no harm being alone, right? This means I shouldn't be too attached or dependent on anyone- so that I wouldn't be disappointed and be left in state of shock.

Question is: Can I do it?

Honestly, I don't I can.

"You need to know how to be alone and not let other people define you."

NOW & THEN.

Yet another Sunday have passed. Since its holidays now, I have been working more than usual, partly also because I have more friends working with me. It has always been that case- because I have friends, I work. I have to say, working with people whom you like to work with makes a hell lot of difference in terms of work experience. And because I am working with Hannah today, I finally understood what it means to be "tortured" by her. But nonetheless, we did pull through the flood of orders, despite several mistakes done. Then again, Hannah helped my close most of the stations today, so overall, she's still not that bad, at least she was a lot faster then me in cleaning up. Well, I have been working in KRR for quite sometime and I sure did learn a lot from my colleagues there. Time really does fly- it only seemed like I just joined the KRR family. Anyways, I still have much to learn.

Anyways, this week, I went for a mini-catch-up session with some of my secondary school friends. The turnout wasn't that great because I think it was too last minute, if not, everyone was busy that day. Well, we went for dinner at ThaiExpress and then movie together. Really glad to have meet up, although we didn't talk a lot. The ending for "Imprefect" was quite unexpected, but I like how it was film though. Especially the fact that the little girl in the show had many crying scenes- which really makes me wonder how she manage to have cried so much and be so into her character at such young age. Anyways, it not a bad movie to watch. After after movie, went to 18CHEF for some chillax time.

SAMBAL CHEESE FRIES.

18CHEF'S BANANA EXPLOSION.

And finally, I went to Great World to meet Terence and Chia Meng for supper. We went to SPIZE. Funny thing is, the told me that they just spent what they have earned for that day. But we had a good time talking and eating over supper. Still going to say this again- I am looking forward to BKK trip with them! :)

And so, I am going to blog about my IG again- GEnRe. I feel really sad because my bathc of seniors are all not longer as motivated as before. Its used to be livelier when they are around. Even my vice-president is not coming as often as she should be. But I was really glad that I was bold enough to tell my conductor about my call of duty and the entire situation of the committee, no harm being transparent right? Beside, hiding the truth will not benefit the IG too in the long run. Probably there will be a change of events which may make me want to stay- my juniors. Anyways, we are finally designing the new club t-shirts! Quite excited about it because the design this year looks quite fresh and nice.

RONG WEI'S DESIGN

 I particularly liked this design because it says it all with a guitar.

It looks really nice and it does reflect more than what that meets the eye.

GEnRe is really more than just an IG- I hope it will be a place where true friendships are forged.

And also, a place where we all can learn something new about guitar.

I am also looking forward to the night cycling this year and the BBQ that I will be planning.

The fact that we have juniors every year makes the experience different every time, despite doing the same thing over and over again.

Hope they will be able to do me proud, although I am not close to any of them...

Anyways, I know I haven't been going to church. Sometimes, I really wonder, how is feeling Pastor really reacting when I don't turn up for church- angry, sad, disappointed? He has really been faithful in delivering those text message early in the morning which really encourages me sometimes. Look at myself, I didn't even survive texting my cell group members for maybe less than 1 month? Don't even think I live up to the name of a cell-group leader. Anyways, probably I am thinking too much- maybe my absence didn't make a difference. Whatever it is, I have a community carnival at hand to plan for with Brent on what games to play. Not sure if it is a good or bad thing- but, I need all the experience I can get from planning a event. Well, really need to buck up on my reading of the bible and also making my Thursday free for Bible class with Uncle Randy!! I know God is real, but I am not doing anything about it now as I used to have been, have I grow cold or perhaps I gave up praying, that's why. I might need some time to find my faith back again- was too taken a back when life is not taking the route that I wanted it to go.

And there you have it.

Till then...

LOVE

I was reading through some stories online and I happen to chance upon this story which talks about love.

It goes something like this...

There was a blind girl who hated herself a lot because she was blind. She hared everyone too because no one understands her, except for her loving fiance as he is always there for her.

One day she told her fiance "If only I could see the world, I will definitely marry you."

And so, week later, someone donated her a pair of cornea so she could see the world again, including her fiance. Now that she was able to see, her fiance asked her "Now that you can see, will you marry me?" And girl was shock to find out that her fiance that she promised to marry is actually blind and refuse to marry him. And she left.

The fiance was really sad and wrote the girl a letter "Please take care of my eyes dear..."

And that's the end of the story. The moral of the story tell us to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. 

Everyone is imperfect. But just as what the moral of the story tells us, we have to learn to love by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. It is definitely not easy to love those people whom you really hate but wouldn't it make less complicating to not dislike anyone and just take a step back and tolerate one another?

It so happens that my secondary classmates is planning some gather this week. And I didn't want to go because I knew there will be someone unhappy- since we argued. And in to times like this, I wondered if we didn't argue at all, will I want to attend this gathering? I am not sure how it went but one thing for sure is that I do not wish to feel that awkwardness. It's not like I can do anything about it and so the least I could do is to not attend.

I promised myself that I will do bit of reflecting during this short break and spent a little more time on myself. So glad I was able to keep up to my words.

"A journey of a thousand miles being with one step.

Take off all your envies, jealousy, forgiveness, self-fishness and fear

And you will find that things are actually not as difficult as it may seem."

Till then..

FRIENDS.

I finally finished my last paper of this semester! All the anxiety and torturous nights of revisions are finally coming to an end because here comes my September holidays! Looking at my schedule, I will be really busy as usual- so packed. But I hope in this short break, I will be able spend a little more time on myself. So I will really be looking forward to the BKK trip with my poly cliques- besides, its my first time travelling abroad without my parents. Anyways, would really like to thank my wonderful classmates that made this semester fun and nothing else but fun! Hope to keep in touch! :)

THANKS MR RUSSELS FOR THE TREAT IN SWENSENS! <3
#Y2S1

Today, despite having my last paper in school, I didn't miss the opportunity to visit my beloved teachers! I woke up really early in the morning to find out that it's raining. This made me rather reluctant to step out of the house, but nonetheless, I managed to flag a cab. I visited BMSS first- there were really lots of flash-back of my secondary school days be it good or bad. The first place I head for was D&T room! So glad to see Uncle Tan and Mr Foo still there, the same as ever. This Yi Hui & Sheril still can do key chains for themselves- so I did a bit of gbuffing, filing and cutting of acrylics. Those were really the days. And so, after that, I headed to the staff room with Jiamin but no teachers were there. And then I saw my Chinese teacher, Mdm Chen Jing. She is still the same as ever, comparing my siblings with me. But glad to have seen her, although she forget my name.

UNCLE TAN!

ME. UNCLE TAN. YIHUI.

HONGJIE. ME. EDNA. JIAMIN.
SHERIL. YIHUI.

We headed to the AVA room to find the rest of the teachers. And yes, I found Ms Nora and some of my classmates. Ms Nora is still as funny as ever- still can ask me if I have girlfriend. We catch-up a little here and there together with Wei Kiat, Tong Sheng and Hong Jie. To my surprise, the topic was on girlfriends. Things never change when Wei Kiat is around- the sex-pert! And after that, we went for lunch in AJISEN and that's how it was.

GROUP PHOTO!

MS NORA. JIAMIN..

LUNCHED AT AJISAN.
"YOU DON'T SAY?!"

So, I traveled to RMPS with Yi Hui with two flowers! One for Mr Yeong and the other for Miss Govi. Well, saw many familiar faces like all the kids that I came to MKFC, my sister's friends, Eleazar's cliques, Timothy, Wei Cong and so many more. I certainly felt a sense of belonging to be in RMPS. Anyways, we only saw Mr Yeong because Miss Govi was sick! Quite disappointed. But, glad to know that both of them are doing well! And so, we took quite alot of pictures in this Tamil classroom with Lydia, Su Yi, Zhong Ren and Yi Hui- I have no idea why we choose to be there.

YIHUI WITH THE FLOWERS FOR MS GOVI~

ME. MR YEONG. YIHUI. ZHONG REN.

WHATEVER IS IN THE TAMIL ROOM...

STAFF-ROOM
JEREMY. SUYI. YIHUI. LYDIA. MR YEONG.

And then, because I left because I had exams. So I met up with Terence and headed to school. A bit turn off, but I had no choice too. But the paper was really easy! Haha, don;t know if it is a good or bad thing.

Then after the paper was suppose to head to Safra to meet up with my primary school clique- but in the end, we headed to town for dinner instead. And so I travel down to town with dear Terence again. Talked a lot more than usual- this brother of mine always surprises my with those words that comes out of his mouth. But I know he also went through quite a fair bit in life and he bury it somewhere deep inside his heart.

Anyways, then headed to SCAPE for buffet dinner but we ended up in Javier's instead for XYZ reasons. And after that, we headed to Starbucks to chill, play games and talk crap just like those primary school days. Mr Yeong is as funny as ever, he can literally make joke out of like anything and everything. And despite our efforts in not trying to let him paid, he still did. A teacher is always a teacher- we will always be like students in his eyes.

Really hope this friendship will keep on going just like what was proposed - a 10 years anniversary for us. Like what Mr Yeong said, this bond is not easy to come by, so we have to cherish it. And like I always say, little efforts goes a long way. Anyways, wishing all the teachers a very HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!

TO MY PRIMARY SCHOOL CLIQUE! <3

 Anyways, I forget to blog about this because I was too busy. Before my exams, Esther (my childhood friend) organised a potluck party for us to catch up at Annicia's house. I am suppose to baked cheesecake, while Esther whip up her chocolate fried rice and Annicia provide some drinks and snacks. The two boys, just come and eat. Although Esther didn't cook her chocolate fried rice, I thank God she baked pizza. I think she got the potential to open up and shop with more practice. And of course, I did my first ever cheesecake alone! Although, it wasn't as nice is it should be. I had two blisters on both my thumb after baking it because of the digestive biscuit. Anyways, I am damn proud of myself because my family like it alot! :)

CHEESECAKE!

MY ONE WHOLE AFTERNOON OF HARD-WORK!

COCK-TAIL FOR THE BOYS!

NATA-DE-COCO PLUS COCK-TAIL = SHIOKNESS!

THE VODKA~

I really had fun that night. And I was pretty sure we were all drunk! I drink one shot, whole body red already..and not to mention me losing the game that we played so many times. After that, we watch horror movie. Can you imagine us watching horror movie but laughing at the ghost in the state of being drunk? And this Esther even poured water on my while I was sleeping and I even tried to take off my top. See how drunk I was? This is another set of friends that I do not want to lose.

Sometimes, I really need to think. There is really more to the word life- not just money can buy. Yes, I may not have the best of everything, but I can make the best out of everything I have. I have been really down for this whole week but now as I am blogging, I felt a lot better because I was reminded that I have pull through so many trials and I am still too early to give up. Well, mentally does matter whether you can overcome the problem or not. I have overlooked many things, but now, I'm not anymore.

A song by Font Minor- Remember The Name

10% luck

20% skill

15% concentrated power of will

5% pleasure

50% pain..

So what's my 100% altogether?

I'm definitely more capable than this!

Till then! :)

IT'S NOT WORKING...

Have you ever tried putting in extra effort so that someone else's life will be slightly eased, happier or even change the situation positively? For me, I have been there, done that. But sadly speaking, the situation for didn't seems to be getting any better. Despite me trying so hard to mend the situation, it just seems as though I didn't put in any effort at all. Even after being so independent (hoping that I will not be a burden), nothing changed. So right now, what's the point of my putting in effort? Since there is no difference.

Someone told me that I am responsible for myself, not others. But the fact is, I also have to be responsible for my siblings too, no? I don't want them to go through the full extend of what I have gone through and I really hope they will also not worry about simple things which they shouldn't be worrying about. But sadly speaking, I think I have failed to achieve this mission. Sigh, I have so many things on my mind right now. Its really sucks when there is only so much I can do. And sometimes, it will left me in deep thoughts and mixed feelings. Honestly, I hate to feel upset because it takes awhile for me to be happy again.

If only my father had the same trend of thoughts as me. Like this, I don't have to worry for him. I honestly thinks he should stop keeping things from me. Because the more truth I uncover myself, the more disappointed I get with him and my mother. Honestly hate the "this is for your own good" kind of sentence. Bull shitting is the new trend huh?

And sadly speaking, I am losing my faith, little by little, day by day. It's so hard to think positive sometimes- all the "God's plan is to prosper you" verse in the Bible just seems quite unbelievable sometimes. Out of all the common test, exams and UTs that I have taken- I have never give up before. But for this test of faith, I think I am going to get a "F" grade soon. Only a matter of time, I guess.

Of all the things that could have happen, I happen to feel sad during my exam period. Good thing tomorrow's UT is in the afternoon. Hopefully, I will feel better by then and be in the mood...

SO WHAT IF I CANNOT GIVE UP?

SUCCESS.

Being able to celebrate your birthday with friends is really a blessed thing. And yes, I celebrate one of my classmate's birthday again! But I am really glad we all manage to surprise her- and she even cried. At least the objective of OPERATION "J" were met. I did her a video and a decorated chip-broad with polaroids! I have to say, it wasn't very easy to stay up late rushing the video and decorating the chip board, nonetheless, guessed it is still worth-it. 

Through this, I got to know Tricia & YH a little better because they also contributed by baking cup-cakes! I thought the cup-cakes are really nice despite them telling me not to expect too much. But anyways, because Terence and I don't know what to buy for her, we brought her a bra-top, shorts and a "dress" from Uniqlo. And it is damn embarrassing because we don't know the size for her bra-top- I even have to call Tricia and ask for help but all she did was to laugh! :(( Anyways, at least she likes the short.

A very Happy Birthday 18th Birthday again to my kuku-bird!

And a big thank you to all who have make this a success! :)

CHIP-BOARD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARDS FROM Y2S1 CLASS

Anyways, my school also had our first SOH Day- which is to recognize the individuals whom have work hard and excelled in their studies. And guess what? I am one of the award recipient! I manage to clinch the Merit Award for my Diploma- Integrated Events Management. And of course, I should be proud to be able to receive this award right?

Then again, I wasn't really happy. I came to realize many things...

One of it is myself- I am very skinny can?! I honestly regretted not joining a sport CCA, probably I would have been fitter. More importantly, I have the time to exercise! Looking at myself now, I cannot even sustain running for half an hour and this is really demoralizing especially when I am from Floorball during my secondary school days. Because of the fact that I am skinny, I cannot wear the blazer!! This alone have brought me, not being happy, to a whole new level. I am damn Damn DAMN upset about it..

Another thing was GEnRe- it is starting to become a drag. I hate to "clean up the shit" that someone else leaves behind. Because of your irresponsibility, people around you suffer. More importantly, to have realized that we cannot perform for Reflections 2012 is an added turn-off, probably to everyone. On top of that, I seriously disagreed with Alex when he said that branding does not matter so long you are able to perform. Doesn't branding matter when you are able to perform for Reflections as compared to performing in the National Library?! This makes a hell lot of difference. Sigh, I am always in different frequency with the people in this IG. So now, I shall fulfill my call-of-duty and then leave for good. End of story, full stop.

DIEM

MY CERTIFICATE!

MR RUSSEL!

THANKS GIRLS!
CLARISSA. SERENE. KAREN.

MY GUMMY OF COURAGE.

I received a card form this person and I was quite touched...

"Congratulations Edward! You deserve the award that you will be receiving later! I am really happy and proud of you. No matter how bumpy the road ahead may seem, continue working hard! Here are some gummies for you! Hope you will not feel nervous after consuming these gummies! Loves~"

Thanks to this special person in my life! <3

Honestly, felt a little envious to see so many parents there taking photos, smiling and proud of their children receiving this award. I am also very sure my parents are proud of me, at least that's what I told myself. I hope at least I can set a good example for my brother and sister to follow- probably this award can be for them? Really hope they will be able to excel in their own education too.

One of my facilitators told me that a failure is going to be nothing if you are going to compare it against your life. I really thought it was quite true- just because something is not going as well as it should be, doesn't mean you give up. Let's all work hard together! :)