Digging things out.

Finally it is holidays. I got to do what I’ve always wanted to; sleep longer. Nonetheless, knowing myself, I did balance my time out.

I did my quiet time this morning. Honestly, if you asked me if I do my quiet time nowadays? I would sincerely answer no. But, I am still glad I managed to do it! I read on Philippians 4:6-7. Anyway, I felt more assured that God is watching over me, my life and everything; despite whatever that has happen or is going to happen, I shouldn’t lose faith, although I very much cannot decipher why must I go through this pain and everything. It says not to be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ. I felt encouraged.

Guess what? I also spring clean-ed my room and tidy up most of the things. Feel so proud of myself; because it was really messy (thanks to my sister). In the midst of clearing unless things, I found many interesting stuffs; I really brings back memories.

BMSS EXERCISE BOOK.

 This book is where I will do all my Mathematics practice questions. I remember I never fail to not fail this subject since primary school. But ironically, I loved this subject. Weird? How I missed those days doing Maths practice questions. Looks like we all have those moments right?

MY CHAIRMAN BADGE!

This really caught me by surprise. I thought I lost it. There is lots of memories behind this badge; good and bad. But now, it doesn't really matter now because what is done is done. I do regret. Really. I miss those moments my ex-clique laugh together; make funny jokes and all. Time have changed huh? For some reasons, it didn't work out. I have never really told anyone about it; but I am jealous sometimes to see their outing photos nowadays; but without me. Oh well.

FLOORBALL!

The red one is mine; the orange is my little sister's. This is also one of my regrets. If I know things turned out this bad; I would have attended training instead of spending time with my ex-clique. My sister told me that my coach told her that I was once a star player; I didn't believe it but it really felt good because at least I know Coach Sara still remembers me. I wonder how many things would change if time turns backs. Would I be in GenRE? Maybe; maybe not.

NO WARNING~

SEE? I AM NOT WORTHLESS.

DON BOTHER INSULTING.

 This three badge was on my secondary school pencil case. It is quite unique isn't it? Especially the second one; always remember that no one is useless. Not matter how bad because you can be served as a bad example. How motivating right?

E FOR EDWARD!

 Guess what is this?! This is a key-chain. So what's so special about it? I MADE IT MYSELF~ It brings back lots of memories again. Those times in the D&T room; with Lowell, YiHui and all. Times we did our journal overnight at  CafeInAction. Not forgetting Miss Leong! Thanks to her, I got B for my 'O' level D&T. I don't mind doing it all over again.

HEARTS.

These hearts are made up of straws. I still remember during Sec1, our class was involve in the HappyToilet Project. My class folded lots of hearts to decorate the mirrors. I still remember doing a graffiti on the wall; funny how MrChong reacted to the graffiti- in state of panic because he thinks its vandalism.

ESTHER.

Who is Esther? She is my childhood friend; her mother knows my mother so that's how we knew each other? She is a very nice girl; always putting other first before herself. She gave me this for birthday present. She did this herself! So impressive right? Hopefully her dream to become a vet can come true. All the best~

Christmas Present

 If I am not wrong, this is a Christmas gift by Becky last time? Anyways, I thought this was one of the most creative present I receive. Very nice.

SMILE

 This doll is from DAISO~ I have no idea why I buy it but I guess it's because I want to remind myself to always by true to myself? A friend always use this sentence on me: 'Stop lying to yourself.'

MY GUITAR~

Since I am in GenRE; might as well do everything to best? At least I will leave behind something, not of regrets. I want to amend lots of things but I cannot. So I can only make sure I do not make anymore mistakes.

WANG~(ONG)

XOXO.

These shirts are from Wendy! Thanks a lot~

OPPS...

OPPPS...

In the process of cleaning, I got bored. So I took a few pictures but only put this one up. The second picture was taken when I was bored in the TRCC storeroom; so I used Irene's IPhone to snap at shot. Like I said, I like photos; because there is always secrets behind it; just like magic; it holds time for that instance.

The holidays is just beginning, I still want to do lots of stuffs. At least I know one of my TO-DO-LIST is done. My room is neat now~ Thank God!

太多话哽在我胸怀, 如果时间倒转, 我会坦白.

HOLIDAYS!

It is finally holidays; after 10 continuous week of study, I can finally 'rest'! Nonetheless, I am still very busy. I am going to work my festive season off at KRR; go for youth camp; go for GenRE practise and the GenRE BBQ; and the roller blading event for my current class. Maybe, I might consider doing some revision for some of the modules?
 Talking about modules; this is my UT1 grades!

FINANCIAL ACCOUNTING- A
PROJECT MANAGEMENT- B
MARKETING- A
BUSINESS STATS- A
HOSPITALITY & TOURISM MANAGEMENT- C

Thank God for this grades! Anyways, I was rather disappointed in getting a 'C' for HTM. Is it just me or is the facilitator not teaching good enough? I wonder. Anyways, hopefully I would be able to maintain these grades for UT2 and UT3. Shall work hard!

And so, this is how I celebrated my last day of school!

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE- GHOST PROTOCOL
AT THE CATHAY (CWP)

I didn't regret watching this movie. I do recommend you all to watch because it is really worth-while. Guess who I went to watch this movie with?

ME. YUE LEI. HUI WEN. GREG. DAVINNA.

I like this picture; I also don't know why. Initially, there is only me, Huiwen and Davinna watching the movie, unexpectedly, Greg and YueLei joined us (Y). The movie experience was weird; Davinna was sitting beside me and was exclaiming all the way. Maybe the sound effect scare her or something? But one thing is for sure, she got the contiguous laughter. Greg was also sitting next to me; he really got the boy-boy look! He was sucking his thumb while watching the show. Quite cute? But he very quiet; as usual. So, just imagine me in the middle- one side is 'hot', the other side is 'cold'.

And then we headed home after the movie.

I shall enjoy my 2-weeks break! :)

Thoughts.

Hey, look whose blogging again? Me. Shall make it a short one.

Everyone has thoughts right? Some should be shared while some shouldn't even be spoken of. Then today, I asked myself this question. If I want to share my thoughts, who can I share it with? I think for very long. And I realized, I don't really have anyone to share with. Corrections; I don't have anyone I am comfortable with to share with. Where are all the important people that is suppose to be in my life? Why are they not with me?

I have to admit; I always put up a strong front- sometimes slightly negative. What can I do? Nothing but to express it like that- with a sad face. I know that God would never fail me; but at the same time I cannot helped it but to feel negative. You know that feeling? When something big happens and you cannot sleep? And the only thing you can do is to think of that sickening problem; trying to solve it but nothing happens. It's frustrating, no doubt about it.

Anyways this tweet encouraged me. 'Look at the prize, not the price'- this I thought was quite true.

L.I.F.E.

How's life? For me, a lot of things have happen- good and bad. And guess what? I am still surviving.

The worksheet~

Last week, the was two field trips. One to Sentosa, another to Orhcard. This makes me conclude that learning out-of-class sucks. Because it is not conducive enough, and makes it hard to actually finish the task given. Ok, maybe because for both the trips, it rained quite heavily. Either way, I still did enjoy because I actually got to know my classmates better. Alright, as usual I let the photos talk...

ME. VAHEENI.

 Vaheeni is really a nice person. I have always play racist jokes on her but guess what? She don't really mind. I think what makes her funny is her smile? She got the natural look that makes people laugh, I guess?

VAHEENI. ARIEL. MICHELLE.

ELFIN. ME.

 That is Elfin. She is a tennis-player! I don't really know her well but I find her really open- not in a bad way. I guess the correct word to use to sociable? Hmmm....

THERESA. JULIET.

 And here is Theresa and Juliet- smiling so brightly. I know Theresa since GenRE camp. She is really kind-hearted and always willing to help in class. Next to her is Juliet- I didn;t really have good impression of her at first. But through Theresa, I got to know her better. She is actually no difference for other girls; although she tend to be quite fierce often a times. Glad to know both of them are believers of God.

OUR FIRST CLASS PHOTO.

And there we go; we took our first official class photo I think? And the photographer is Greg. He didn't really want to be in the photo so he volunteered. I feel happy just because we took this photo- because in the near future, this is a prove that we were, at least, once class-mates.

Didn't I mention we went to Sentosa? In Sentosa, we have our HTM module where I was teamed up with a all boys group. I am actually the youngest among them. But guess what? There is still a kid in each of them; after spending a day with them; although there is a difference in our age, it kind of meant nothing.

GREG. ME.

 This is our first stop. I think Brandon took this photo (because he camera shy). The SAND BAR. Oh, if you are wondering where id our other two team-mates; they went smoking and we kind of 'lost' each other. Some kind of joke right? But they managed to contact us still; via the girls.

GREG. BRANDON.

 Next up, the Siloso beach. I forced Brandon to take photo. Oh well at least he smiled, right?

GREG. ME. BRANDON.

 If I remembered, Greg approached this Indian to help us take this photo. He wanted a group photo. Credits to the Indian that helped take this picture.

ME. GREG.

 We were finally going to meet up the lost sheeps. We went to Mc' Donalds to get ice-cream cone. And we finished almost half of our worksheet?

BRANDON. DESHAWN. ME. GREG. HAZ.

 And finally, we came together at the Merlion. I like this picture; makes me feel like a little brother with 4 big brothers taking care of me. Ok, the only reason why I am in the middle is because I am short. Full Stop.

TIGER TOWER (Y)

 We couldn't find anyone to take photo for us! Glad I met YiJin and Medeline! They helped us take photo. Something that shock me was a comment made by one of the boys: 'They go as a class sia, not like us, split up...' Something like that...I always thought otherwise; like they like to work alone? Either way, at least I know how they think. We also go to this souvenir shop. Got this very nice thing 3D-caved-photo. Apparently, there only got lots of couple photo; so I made a comment which attracted the sales-person. I said: 'Next time, when I have girlfriend then come.' She replied me something like no need girlfriend also can. 'Ok!'- I replied this and walked out of the shop. EPIC FAIL?

DESHAWN. ME. GREG.

 We were walking to our last stop. And we saw this. I said I wanted to make sand-castle. Surprisingly, this two boys are also interested. And the above sand-castle is not ours. It was some random kid's.

OUR FINAL PHOTO.

 We were finally done with our worksheet, after so long. I like this photo the best. Credits to another group from another class.

LUNCHING.

 Finally, we wanted to lunch. We wanted to eat KFC. But Brandon is a vegetarian. So we had a hard time deciding. We in the end, we went to KFC. Poor Brandon only can eat cheese fries. But at the same time, I salute him for being so committed in his relationship; hardly can find guys like this; extinct creature? Maybe.

WHAT'S LEFT.

And finally the Sentosa trip is over! :))

HAPPY FEET 2.

We went to VIVO and watched HappyFeet 2. THERESA. HUIWEN. HAZ. DESHAWN. I was quite entertaining I guess? But I thought it was a waste to not be able to watch You are the apple of my eyes.

ISABELLE. MICHELLE. WEILING. ME.

This is my PMS group. We were in Orchard. This is the only group photo I have. Anyways, if not for the rain, I am sure everything else would have been better. Because my shoes are soaked wet that day, it kind of spoiled my mood. But nonetheless, these girls did cheered me up with their 'shopping'. Enjoyed my day.

Alright. Now for some GenRE. I was appointed as the Events Manager. Didn't really know to be happy or sad. But I am glad to have Nisa (my bass partner) with me! :)) Other than that, we are practicing hard? Got lots of scores; Canon In D, Air-on-G, RiverFlow. Oh well, I guess staying in GenRE ain't that bad after all? Hope everything goes well. Looks like there is more commitments.

With happy moments; there would sure to be sad moments. I am disappointed with someone. I really want to depend on someone; but somehow, I don't dare. Because things just don't seem to work well; at least for me. It is like trying to tell an elephant to try breaking loose from the rope after it is being tied to a tree for years; it just wouldn't work! People tend to give up; like me. It is not about whether I give chance or not; it is about whether you really wanted to change for the better. You know how much it equally hurts on the inside? I am not talking to you because I am angry; depressed. Just because I don't show it does not mean I don't care. I don't want to live in the world made up of your fabrication of lies; because it sucks- BIG TIME. I trusted you but in the end...? Oh well...life must be playing a prank on me.

I am starting to think if the main reason why I am so tired is due to the sadness.

Didn't go church this week. I was too tired...

Dear God, help me to be an over-comer. In Jesus' Name, AMEN.

Time VS Regrets.

When is the last time you miss someone that was close to you? Do you feel this sour feeling that makes you feel sad? Makes you feel like you could have done so much more? Makes you feel like there is much you know about that person? Well, what you feel would most likely be one of regrets.

And for me, I happened to keep reminding myself not to regret and always cherish those around me and not take them for granted; or at least I am trying to. Guessed everyone needs a little reminder now and then that life is precious. One moment, those you care for may be fine, but you will never know what would happen to them the next moment. But that's not my main point. My point is whether will you have that regret inside of you, crying so loudly deep within you, but it is just too late to do anything. Don't you find it so true? We all are guilty of that, right?

Tammy reminded me that life is so fragile. Imagine the one you love just happen to pass away unexpectedly; and the only thing left is memories, be it good or bad, happy or sad, what is done was done, and you cannot turn back time, can you? For me, I lost quite a lot of my loves ones, either by death or by circumstances. Do I have regrets? Of course, too much!

For me one of my biggest regret is my mother. I don't really remember her face. Can you believe it? I CAN'T REMEMBER EVEN HER FACE, let alone the small details about her. Come to think of it, I don't even have any photo of her with me, I am such a failure, am I? Since young, she have never really treated me well, that was what I thought because everything she did unto me was quite insignificant then hence bad. But looking back now, everything seems so significant, all she was teaching me was to be able to take care of myself when she is not around, which apparently is so real to me right now. This is also why I love photography. Because it captures moments that time wouldn't allow, just like magic, it is there yet not there. Even though that person may be gone, but at least those moments you spend with him or her is protected in the photo, a picture speaks a thousand words. But this kind of circumstantial regrets is far beyond my control...I may end up just regretting...

I really wished I time would not die on me. Just give me a chance to create at least good memories with her, at least. Having regrets is really a torture, it feels so heavy, so burdened, so depressing. No matter how much I try to forget, somehow or rather I will still remember, besides, I am her son right? Which mother wouldn't want the best for her son? Although I hate her, I choose to believe that she did the best for me.

Dear God, please watch over her for me, bless her. This would let me feel less burden..

Balance it out.

My insecurities is acting up again. Always feeling scare that I will end up losing someone I cherish. I have lost too many to continue losing, I know how it hurts to be abandon, alone and therefore I try my best to not let others feel that feeling from me.

You know, during bible study this week, someone asked this question, why is it so easy to forgive and so hard to forget? Honestly, I felt convicted. Did I really forgave the person? Or rather, can I forget those actions that have hurt me? And the answer given was in the book of 1 John; where it talks about love. To me, love is a feeling that can bring you down to the deep pit or lift you up sky high, a feeling that no one can teach you. If I really loved, I guess nothing is difficult, is it? Oh well, during bible study, Uncle Randy also talked about end times, that really shook me. How am I suppose to bear the pain to see friends I know suffering in hell? Not to mention my family members and relatives. Although I am not in good terms with everyone, it already hurts to imagine. I don't think I am doing my part as a Christian. Sad...(spiritually-super-dry).

Anyway, enough about sad things. I shall balanced this sadness with happy moments? I went out with some of my GenRE friends! We went to catch this movie 'IN TIME'. It is a great movie indeed. While time, really passes when you are enjoying, right? For me, it is time to actually decide on who to be the next President for the club; something I have yet to think about. Anyways, whoever that is the President, I will definitely support him or her, because we all have a passion in common, guitar! :)

Hidayat. KianFong. Erick. Nisa. Ashly.
XingMing. Rudy. Irene.

Me. KianFong. Erick. Ashly.
XingMing. Rudy. Irene.

Wow?! This post quite long arh? My Y1S2 classmates is really fun! We haven really bond but I feel this sense of belonging. I hope I am not the only one feeling this? Oh well, this Semester really thought me to not judge. Many people can be 'this or that' because they have gone through something hard, not everyone have a easy life up to poly right? We all have problems and stress. But guess what? We are always not alone! There is always friends to go through what you go through, sharing the pain and joys. Other than the fact we have to part ways some day, I guess friendship is something we all need.

Gregory. Haz. Aisah. Freda. Vaheeni.
Michelle. Isabelle. WeiLing. (alot people missing)

As much as I have loss, I have gain a lot too. Although it may not be the best, the most loving, the smartest, the richest, the funniest....anything; but I guess that's what friends are for, to help one another to cover up weaknesses and grow together. Anyway, thanks Isabelle, Jaslyn for always encouraging me.

Although I cannot change anything of the past, must I let the future me suffer? I want to piece my life to what it should be again, to enjoy life to the fullest. It still hurts, I am still scare, but, I feel better now knowing everyone have their fair share of ups and downs.

Not just something.

Wow! I have been complaining about going for practice untill late mid-nights and having to travel back home late, this and that. But after the performance, like finally, I can rest! :)

I really appreciated those who came even though it was UT the next day.

Guo Cong ~ Michelle ~ Jereen ~ Vahaani ~ Vahaani's friend.
Pastor ~ B&B ~ Diane ~Jim

Thanks a lot for coming! :))

Ohh well. Honestly speaking, I do believe these little major events is not just a memory or a once upon a time thing. When I grow older, I will eventually think of these little major events and reflect, isn't that what life is about? Going out there a experience things not with the eyes, but with the heart.

As always, I let the pictures do the talking...

GenRE! :)

Erick ~ XingMing ~ Kian Fong ~ Hidayat!

Kian Fong & ME

James & ME

Erick & ME

Xing Ming & ME

Cheryl ~ Thresa ~ Jessica ~ ME ~ XingMing ~ Trudy ~ Jeanine

ME ~ Lowell ~ Evan ~ Yukai ~ TongSheng

IRENE AND THE REST!! :)

Jennifer & ME

HuiYi & ME

FrogSENIOR ~ ME ~ Brandon

Lynette & ME~~ :)))

THE FAMILY BADGE.

I am sure, this is just the beginning. I am not sure whether I will quit or not, but I will definitely remember this moment of fame (GenRE 2011).