THANKS-GIVING DAY~

Thanks Giving Day was over a few days ago, I think?

Nonetheless, I would still want to make this post to thank God for everything even if it's over.

It has truly been an amazing journey in RP up till now.
All the people who make me who I am now.

Y1S1! ALL THE AWESOME PEOPLE!

Y1S2! ALL THE BIMBO(S).

Y2S1! "KAN"!

Y2S2! CURRENT CLASS

They have made-up part of my life in RP- a fun and meaningful one.

Yes, we might have parted ways and will not see each other, one thing is for sure..

We share the same memories in class- laughing, lunching, playing and going crazy at times.
I learnt that I should be too selfish and have everyone in my life.
So, just remember those good times and catch up when we can.
That's enough. 

GEnReans!

Yes, I may have lots of complains and everything.

But after all the thick and thins we went through as a club through the performances...

I kind of realized I would have regretted more if I didn't join this club.

ALL THE AWESOME PEOPLE I MET IN SOH! :)

TEAM ACE-SOME!
All the crazy people during CAMP RENAISSANCE!

ZLSCC!

Who says a church must be big in order to "function"?

Thank God for this church- all my ganma and ganpa who takes care of me.

Pastor who help me make my decisions.

TDY for the fellowship and accountability.

Love you guys! <3

To my special groups of friends!

~NOT BY ORDER~ 

ARIEL

My three semester friend!

Honestly, I never thought we would have come this far together for three semester!

Thanks for always buying breakfast for me and giving me advise when I need it.
Thanks for making feel easy to be with, going into heart-to-heart talks.

Love you!

TRACY

Thank her for being my listening ear always, listening to my complains and frustrations in my life.

Also, for motivating when I needed it.

Always looking out for me.

Love you too!

CHIA MENG

Thank this guy for always being half of an ass! HAHA!

Thanks him for always giving me a chance to counsel him.

Thank him for allow me to bully him!! :)

Thank him for making the effort to try to know me and get to tolerate my XYZ attitude on him.

I hope he knows I love him too, HAHAHAHA despite everything.

TERENCE

This guy is another side of the ass! HAHA. A team-mate of Chia Meng, to be exact.

Thank him for also tolerating my XYZ attitude.

Thank him for also letting me bully him!

Thank him for being so...open in his thoughts too, so transparent.
Thank him for taking care of me also! :)
Love this brother too!

IRENE

Haha, if she sees this, I am so going to be died :/
Nonetheless, Irene, thank you for still being there despite so many things that have happened.
Thank you for being so fun and violent.
Still remember us arguing on the first day we met? HAHA!
Love you too sister!

DAVINNA

Ohhh DAAAAA-VINAAAAAAA~
Thank you for always being so true in your opinions, really made me think a lot.
Hope I have become a better person!
Thanks for encouraging me always too girl~
Love you!

MARCUS

Hey buddy! I realized we never take any photo together :(
Thank God for this brother of mine, always being there even in the wee-hours.
Thank God for all the good/bad times we shared in B32 working together, doing crazy staffs.
Let's continue to work hard alright?!
Love you too buddy!

JOLENE

Thank God for this Jo's family.
It has truly been a blessing to know you and your family.
Thank God for your papa too- he kind of changed the way I view things too.
Still remember those times we were in bible study class, dozing off. HAHA.
And those times when we were with Johnathan, AhBoon, Janice & Zhong Ren? HAHA.
Love you too sister!

MY FAMILY!

I don't really show it, but I really thank God for you two!
Imagine how lonely I will be without you two bickering with me.
Also thank God for a Dad that never gave up.
LOVE YOU ALL TOO! <3

FLAME AWARD!

CERTIFICATE!

So proud to receive this award, really thank God.
Also, my Merit Award too~

Ok, there is so many things we can thank God for, and my list goes on!
And there is so many thing little things we can give-thanks for.

Problem is...do we dare to make people feel appreciated?
Having said this, the fear is that the appreciation is not reciprocated.
Some name it pride while other name it fear.
Whatever it is, let make every effort to make people feel appreciated.
Yes, many things may have happened here and there...
But learning to overlook things is also part of maturing, right?
I am trying very hard too...

Of course, talk is cheap.
Show your appreciation through your actions, not just words.

We are all kings of life.

16 NOV 2012

16 November was a really important day for me. This is because I am going to receive an award which I really wanted since I join GEnRe- this award was also my motivation on why I persevere so long in GEnRe and also work so hard academically. At first, I was told that I didn't meet one of the requirements to get the award- which is a GPA of 3.5. I was really sad because my current GPA is 3.47- which is quite unacceptable. I even complained to Irene about how depressed I was upon hearing that I didn't meet the requirements. But then, my IG adviser nominated me up- I was flying! Damn happy.

So...what really happened on the 16 November 2012?

I went to school happily with my club t-shirt and my attire for Flames Award, which is the name of the event. I brought breakfast from E-canteen and drank some milk. Later on, I feel damn uncomfortable i my stomach- so I thought its because I had a heavy breakfast and so, I only ate honeydew for lunch. And after lunch, hell came in. I cannot concentrate in class, cannot sit still and I had sudden fever. There was also this sudden bloated-ness in my stomach. Ariel brought some panadol for me but I didn't consume them- too stubborn. Then I tired to vomit things out at first but fail. Awhile later, I tried again. Everything came out. 

This is the first time I vomited so violently. It's as though my body is rejected all the food I eat. It feels as though my body even wanted to vomit out my stomach- whole body was just numb for the feel seconds. It felt terrible because I was feeling so restless and weak. And on top of that, I didn't want to go home just yet. But I really thank God for understand teacher and team-mates.

Having mention all this, you should have guessed that I am in no good condition to attend the award ceremony. And so, I skipped it in order to go home. I was really down! Because I have been waiting for this special day. Depressed beyond words. On top of that, I was suppose to perform also- so I SMS my seniors and told them about it. I guess they are really disappointed. What really sucks was when my IG adviser didn't even reply my SMS and email- guessed she was also disappointed for my sudden absence. I think I let some of my members down also- we had a colour code black and wanted to take a "family photo" on this day, but I went missing in action. Quite screwed up right?

Anyways, I left school via cab with Terence. Good thing I waited for him- because the taxi ride was so long! And I really "buay tong" already- was just half-awake through the ride. Even if the taxi uncle scam me I also don't know. I forget why I said sorry to him on the cab but really thank God for this brother, at least for tolerating my bad mood. Anyways, I think my body reacts to circumstance really fast, told Terence I will be fine taking the lift up myself. So I get him to leave. Took the lift up and before I knew it, I vomit again outside my house. This time, it's brown liquid. I assume its the acid from my stomach. It's probably one of the worse days being alive till now.

And so, I cleared up the mess I made and bathed, then slept.

I was just kind of reflecting how my Mum would take care of me when I am sick.

And also reflecting on how I told myself to be strong and independent.

A brave front yet a weak heart.

That's life huh?
Enjoy this song by Mark Chao, the lyrics not bad.
The music at first by plucking the guitar is also very nice.

Just asking for a momentary splendor.

FEELINGS

I realized I am quite "far away" from the people of God- church. Didn't attend service for 2 weeks already. And recently, my phone died on me, hence no SMS from pastor daily also. On top if that, there is this event that I am planning for with MKFC. Honestly speaking, I don't even think they need my help- I am just there because I used to be there for previous carnivals, at least this is how I think. Quite screwed up for a person who is in the youth leadership huh?

I seriously think there is something wrong with me.

#hownowbrowncow

Anyways, I am currently trying to learn this song!

The lyrics of this song is really meaningful- at least to me.

Recently, everyone that is close to me are into relationships.

I am pretty sure I don't want to be in any relationship now..but sometimes, I also feel lonely.

Looking for a best friend who can always be there for me when I need it.

Below got this video on this guy playing the song!

I hope to be able to play this meaningful song and sing it.

EOM- THE WHITE GANG

I am making new friends again.

But that doesn't mean I'll forget about my other friends.

But on the other hand, will they forget about those good times we shared?

Because I never intended to be a "HI-BYE" friend.

A BUSY WEEK AHEAD!

I am depressed because I know where I am right now, is not where I should/ want to be.

BONDS.

Say hello to the kids that I am tutoring at MKFC!

This week is their exams and I really hope they will pass their exams.

If not, what for I commit every Monday of my time to go down and tutor them right?

ELYN. ME. ZHENG ZHONG.

ELYN. ME. ZHENG ZHONG. GORDAN.

Kind of miss those times that I get to see them everyday at my work place.

But they are still lively and annoying as ever.
Hopefully, they will like the carnival that the committee is planning right now! 

<3

This photo really made my day with my friend show it to me.

At least I got something happy to remember during my really down times.

So does that mean when I am unhappy, I just need to look at pictures and think of people that are dear to me? Hmmm, probably. At the very least, I kind of smiled.

A lot of things have changed ever since this I went for this trip.
If this trip didn't take place, will things still be how it used to be?
Was telling a friend that it is important that we don't make a friend do what you think is the best for them.
Because ultimately, it's their life.
In the midst of everything, be that pillar of support for them. Backing them up always.
That...is good enough, no?

No matter how much change you see, at the end of the day, we are all the same.
Stubborn and always wanting more.
That's why things are so complicated, because we don't know how to deal with the "change".

Sometimes, it's as simple as adding 1+1, why complicate it?

25-10-2010

WHO MOST HANDSOME? HAHA.

WENDY. EDWARD. JAMES. ERICK. IRENE. AMY.

ME. IRENE. GEORGE. 

 I remembered how I used to complain about myself not being able to blend in GEnRe to now acting as president guiding my juniors. I think it's also them that made me see that there is more towards just being an IG. This is also why I decided to not give- at least I mustn't disappoint them as a leader.

Don't disappoint me for the up-coming performance alright?!

I know it's tiring to have to keep practicing till really late, but persevere!

Let's all work hard together and put up a good 45 mins performance!

In the end, my question is: Then who understands me the best?

#SortingOutThoughts

SILLY ME.

I have this flaw of walking out of someone's life just because of one silly wrong-doing or mistake.

I will even forget about the memories we once shared, however good it was.

And after that, I will kind of regret it.

I am trying really hard to overcome this flaw of mine.

Don't want to lose another friend just because of this silly excuse- "you have done something wrong."

A real friendship just like a pen and an eraser.

And yes, I will take as many "shot as I can to capture the best moments".

201012.

I decided not to work on one of the Saturday in October since I have event on. 

It really is good to be able to spent time doing things you like to do and hanging out with people whom enjoy your company over a meal and catch up. I kind of miss how I used to have my Saturdays free and going to church and play with TDY before youth service compared to the rush hours at work.

Those were really the days of my life.

Of course, since I wasn't working, I did planned some activities to keep me going!

I went out with Esther and Annicia to catch a movie, Sinister at Vivo.

And as usual Esther is forever late.

Anyways, we also headed for lunch before that at some Japanese outlet.

And I try this pan-cake kind of thing.

Actually, it wasn't that bad.

As for the movie Sinister, it was a turn-off.

The story line progressed too slowly and its more towards solving the mystery kind of show.

But I really applaud Annicia for watching horror show with Esther and I, since she don't usually watch it.

Well, good thing Belven and Zhi Cao didn't come along.

Anyways, thanks for the company!

Looking forward to our next hang out together again, after Esther's O levels I guess.

After that, I headed to White Dog Cafe to find the BKK gang.

I had Carbonara because I don't like tomato based food.

Then I order Ice-lemon tea together with this durian pastry.

Overall, it wasn't that bad an experience.

Then I went to pick Tracy up from Harborfront bus interchange.

But in the end, I ended up meeting her at Circle Line MRT.

And Ariel went top pick up HL- to replace Kieren who cannot make it.

And finally we headed to USS for the Halloween event!

It my first time going for this event. My first impression was that THERE IS A LOT OF PEOPLE! Everyone is queuing up to enter Sentosa. Of course the queuing didn't just end there. The queue for the haunted house and rides was also crazily long! And in the end, we separated. Terence and Tracy was together roaming to other places. Well I was with Ariel, HL and also Maryanne, CM queuing for the Transformer Ride. But the ride wasn't that bad, other than it being too short. Then we went to the haunted house and queue another 1 hours for a 5 minutes of thrill. Not bad.

Of course, time pass really fast when I am having fun, another Saturday just ended like that. Soon after 12 midnight, most of the rides were closed, so we met at the entrance of the Transformer ride area. I was so down to the point even the scare-actors who tried to scare me was ignored by me, too bad. And Esther told me because I watched the horror movie with her- warm-up for Halloween. Since I wasn't in good mood, on top of that, the gang looked all quite happy and so I left faster because I didn't want to affect them. I know I made some of them were worried, on the other hand, some probably didn't want to care. 

Then again, maybe I was lonely since I was the "odd-one out" due to circumstances. Besides, what are the odds of me enjoying this event with the rain and all..? While walking back home, I did some reflecting. I kind of not understood why I felt like that- shouldn't I be happy after everything? Why am I in a bad mood? Throughout the journey walking back, I was drowned with thoughts. I concluded that I need to stop being so childish and control my emotions a little more. 

 I have created this invisible wall between myself and them. After removing this "wall", things might not be the same anymore. It just like the story of the boy who nailed nails into the wall, even after removing the nails, there will be scars. In this case, the scar would probably be myself not talking to them anymore. Looks like I have landed myself in another ugly position. If I know things will turn out this way, will I still walk the same path I took before? I am not quite sure as of now. Maybe I am just thinking too much, simple things like this with a bit of thoughts here and there complicated everything. Sigh...however dear October, thanks for all the disappointments I have been through in this month. Don't you think you are being a little too unfair to me?

The saddest kind of sad, is the sad that tries not to be sad. You know when Sad tries to bite its lip and not cry and go, “No, I’m happy for you”? That’s when it’s really sad. - John Mayer”

Why must things turn out like that?

18th October 2012

Today is the official day that marks my 18 years of living on Earth. 

Although it was my birthday, it felt as though it was just like any other day- plain, normal and simple. 

But, I really appreciate the effort that my beloved friends put in to make my feel special on this special day.

Although I wasn't surprised...

I would still wanted thank you guys!

Ariel. Maryanne. Tracy. Bi Yun. Jia Yi. Terence. Chia Ming.

The cake to the presents!

And also, thanks to all that contributed to the presents.

Thanks to me GEnReans juniors who sing the birthday song so loud in TRCC too.

I was told to make a wish today while blowing the cake. To be honestly, I didn't wish for anything. It's not that my life is so prefect that I had nothing to wished for, its just, I don't know. I did present my requests to God like what Uncle Johnathan told me, "If God is the true God, He better prove that He is there, living. No point for us to believe in second-hand religion right?" But, sad to say, it didn't happen. Sigh, looks like I will figuring things out myself again huh?

Anyways, I went for scholarship talk today. I know, spending my special day for a scholarship is nuts, but I need it so I am prepare to take it. During the talk, I was thinking how it would change my life because not only will I have to serve bonds, I will also have to intern there. And I was just thinking back at what some of my friends said to me "Let's choose the same intern company..". Not only that, serving the bond would also mean I will not be able to further my studies, is it a good or bad thing to just hold a diploma? There is just so many things to consider. Up till now, October 2012 wasn't really nice to me- its just problems after problems after problems. I want to go by the beach and shout it all out. Maybe I shall do that one day..

I have been telling myself everything will be worth it, just persevere.

It's not easy..but just persevere.

Something might come out of it.

I will let time do the job again.

A CHILD-LIKE FAITH IS WHAT I NEED..

18-10-2012, just another normal day.

A SURPRISE INDEED.

As usual, we meet up again before the semester starts again. This time we when for a Dim Sum buffet at YUM CHA! Good thing is that its freaking near my house- Chinatown only. So next time, I can bring my friends there to chill and eat good food. And I saw one of the singer "Chen Wei Lian"! So happy to be able to see him face to face, if only I took a photo with him. Anyways, I had a good time catching up with them.

I also want to thank them for a surprise birthday cake for me! Its really quite unexpected because its still quite awhile before my birthday. I really appreciate all of your efforts especially the fact that someone took note that I like cheese cake, damn touched, and of course the presents~! It fits me perfectly  thanks guys. 

DEVELOPED A SPECIAL LOVE TOWARDS THIS~!

After we were all deciding what to do next. And it kind of made the situation slightly sour because we couldn't decide on where to go- especially what movie to watch. And Tessa reminded me to not be selfish and take a step back. Kind of was reflecting on what she said- was I really too selfish? Anyways, we then headed to K BOX IN THE END TO SING OUT HEARTS OUT~!

We were inside this place singing till 10 plus.

Of course, none of us were in the mood for school the next day though.

Anyways, thanks for the company~! <3

I hope this bond we share will continue.

GEnRe BBQ~!

I think this post is quite belated. But nonetheless, I'll blog it because its part of my life.

You know, I have always dragged myself to IG because I could have been somewhere else doing something more meaningful- like going home to rest or even hang out with friends. There is this saying that goes "the grass is always greener on the other side". And yes, I am always stuck in this situation. It just hit me suddenly that probably I didn't make the best of what I have? That's why I feel that its not fulfilling enough. Come to think again, I have really learnt lots of things from this IG- from reading simple notes to finger playing the guitar and to even overcoming stage fright. And I kind of really thank the people that I have met- despite disagreements and all, GEnRe did go through lots of ups and downs. And at the end of the day, I think it all ties down to one thing- bond. We are all bonded by one common thing which is classical guitar. I really hope the next batch of committees will do a far better job then my batch.

Anyways I decided to organise this BQQ to chill everyone down before our performance- of course other than chilling, I hope they get to know one another better too.  And yes, as a event manager, I failed terribly in budgeting. Kind of over spent by quite a fare bit and so I top-up the amount from my own pocket. Anyways, it's rather fulfilling to take a short break and do something against normal routines.

MARSH MELLOWS~!

THANKS FOR THE SPEAKER IRENE!

A5: WINTER MELON TEA <3

CAPTION: IRENE "XIONG MAO" FACE.
"MY YELLOW TEETH" :((

SHARON. AMY.

LOOK AT MY SHAG FACE AFTER FIGHTING THE FIRE.

JUMP SHOT BY GEORGE.
XM. ME. AMY. JOANNE. ERICK.

ADORA.

THANKS BBQ WHOLESALE~!

ON A ROMANTIC NIGHT. . .

DARYL- THE FIRE-FIGHTER.

RONG WEI.

AMY.
(I THINK SHE LOOKS PRETTY IN THIS PHOTO)

OF COURSE, WE HAD LOTS OF FOOD.

AMELIA. SHARON.

Thanks Irene for booking the BBQ pit.

Thank to all who have attended the BBQ.

Thanks for helping out with the pit Daryl.

LASTLY, THANKS GOD FOR THE LOVELY WEATHER AND PROVISION! :)

I may not have headed to where I intended, but I think I have ended at where I should be.